Texas Atty Steven Swain: Todays “Bestiality” Award Winner

Unfortunately, the State of Texas provided Steven Swain (hereinafter called “Old Yeller”) with a law license, when in truth, and after you read the following article, he should have rightfully applied for and received a license from the City of Houston’s BARC (Bureau of Animal Care and Control) Animal Shelter & Adoptions.

Home surveillance footage from late 2025 recorded at the Swain residence in Providence Park, a suburb of Houston by Old Yeller’s wife Liz, who had installed cameras during a home renovation, which she later reviewed positively identified both her husband and the small black family dog, Shipley lying in bed together. This subsequently led to Old Yeller’s arrest for Bestiality, which led to him being charged with felony bestiality after his wife Liz, discovered surveillance footage showing him engaging in sexual acts with the family dog, Shipley.

The probable cause arrest affidavit states a video showed Old Yeller lying in bed, exposing himself, and calling Shipley over for sexual contact, with the dog allegedly licking him. Liz immediately removed Shipley from the home for its safety and provided the footage to the Houston SPCA, (aka, (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) which then contacted Harris County Precinct 1 investigators.

A somewhat and sometimes reliable source told Delmas that he thought the dog might have been a small Affenpinscher. What did you say Delmas, an Effen what? That was just his best guess Dave. He went on to say that it was either a Dachshund (aka, Weiner Dog), or a Cockapoo. We’re waiting for a final police report, something from the SPCA or a press release from the Houston Humane Society.

I don’t have a clue what Liz looks like, which is irrelevant, but Delmas said he spoke to several neighbors and they said she was pretty attractive. Can you imagine what went through her mind when she caught Old Yeller fondling Shipley or Shipley fondling him? Goshes and Gollies, at a minimum, she must have been devasted.

Think about this for a minute folks. You have a faithful wife whose husband is turned on by the family dog. I’ll bet her suspicions were first aroused when Shipley turned up her nose when she tossed him a bone.

Rumor has it that the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals®) has distributed a photo of Old Yeller to all of its affiliates throughout the country, stating, “Call your local Humane Society and Police if you spot Old Yeller anywhere near a dog pound, a dog park or if you see him on the prowl searching for a mate that’s not on a leash.”

In addition, the American Kennel Club (AKC) has posted a picture of Old Yeller at the entrance to its annual December 2026 event to be held at the Orange County Convention Center in Orlando, Florida.

Well, all we can do now is to see what punishment is meted out to Old Yeller when he faces a jury of his peers. Hey Dave, wouldn’t a jury of his peers be made up of, I don’t know say 3 Dalmatians, 4 Pomeranians, 2 Yorkshire terriers, 2 Miniature Schnauzers, and lastly 1 German Shepherd who would be named the jury foreperson. I’m sure Old Yeller would be disappointed to hear that the presiding judge, issued an order prohibiting a Golden Retriever from sitting on the jury. Why’s that Dave? Because they’re known for being affectionate and having a lovable temperament.