Trump's version of Martin Luther King’s “I have a Dream Speech”

As America’s all‑time favorite President (just ask him —he’ll confirm it before you finish the question), The Don recently found himself feeling a teensy bit jealous of the fame —sorry, infamy —that was showered upon Dr. Martin Luther King after his legendary “I Have a Dream”speech. Because if there’s one thing The Don cannot resist, it’s a spotlight someone else once stood under.

Naturally, he decided the only reasonable response was to create his own historic masterpiece. And who better to assist him than world‑renowned songwriter and humanitarian David Duke —former KKK Grand Wizard, and a figure associated with a violent extremist organization responsible for widespread harm and racist violence.

In other words: The Don really knows how to pick collaborators for maximum dramatic effect.

Together, this dynamic duo (one craving attention, the other craving relevance) produced a speech inspired by The Don’s Executive Order 1424, “Addressing Egregious Actions of the Republic of South Africa” (AEARSA), issued on Feb. 7, 2025. This EO created an exception to the refugee ban, driven by The Don’s well‑documented concerns over South Africa’s racially discriminatory conduct —specifically discrimination aimed at White South Afrikaners over the past five decades.

A truly noble cause, according to The Don, who never misses an opportunity to remind everyone that he alone can fix… well, anything.

And thus, with the subtlety of a marching band in a library, The Don unveiled his rewritten “I Have a Dream” speech — a performance so grandiose, so self‑congratulatory, so cosmically Trumpian that even the original Dream itself probably rolled over and said, “Buddy, no.”

Firstly, it should be noted that in South Africa “Umlungu” is a word that’s commonly used to refer to white people. It comes from isiXhosa, the language of the country’s Xhosa people. Therefore, when describing the unspeakable discriminatory victimization of Whites, they will be addressed as “Umlungu.”

Now, on to The Don’s amazing rewrite of Dr. Kings “I Have a Dream Speech”

Five years ago, a great American (Me), in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, I signed this momentous South African executive order decree as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves (Whoops, I mean Umlungu victims) who had seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their inhumane treatment.

But 100 years later, Umlungu folk are still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Umlungo is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Umlungo lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. And so, I come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

The Don then followed with the following “I have a Dream” statements.

“I have a dream that my four little Umlungo lookalikes will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the balance in their stock portfolio.”

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that only Umlongo’s are created equal.”

“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former Umlungo victims and their sons will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of Umlungo injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I don’t know about you, but I had a very difficult time trying to stop sobbing (had to ring out my hand towel twice) as I heard The Don’s truly heartfelt rendition of King’s “I have a Dream” speech. I’m betting y’all had the same experience, right?