Missouri’s 2018: Attorney Ivory Soap Purity Ratings = 99.8%

Ivory Soap advertises a purity rating of 99.4%. In the Virginia legal system, there are 24,754 attorneys practicing throughout the state. For the year 2018, the enablers for Attorney Misfits sitting on the Missouri Supreme Court handed out the following complimentary sanctions against fifty-three (53) attorneys for engaging in a variety of misconduct.

• 14 = number of disbarments
• 20 = number of suspensions
• 7 = number of reprimands
• 12 = number of various terms of probation

This laughable finding by the Missouri Disciplinary Counsel means that Missouri’s 99.8% Ivory Soap Purity rating for 2018 is preposterous in that it indicates the near impossibility of finding a dishonest or incompetent attorney.

This would mean that if all 24,754 attorneys attended a basketball game football game at the Enterprise Center in St. Louis with a seating capacity of 22,000, it’d be nearly impossible to locate the 53 unethical and/or incompetent attorneys even if they raised their hands in unison.

Gosh and Gollies and Gee Whillickers, you folks in Missouri are quite fortunate to live in a state where almost 100% of your attorneys are Ethical and Intellectual Giants.

And lastly, Missourians have the members of the Missouri Disciplinary Counsel for taking affirmative and appropriate steps to protect you and yours from unethical and/or incompetent attorneys.