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Donald Trump sez no Popcorn for GOP Senators that support impeachment

With the knowledge that the articles of impeachment will eventually be forwarded to the senate by Speak of the House Nancy Pelosi, The Great Leader has allegedly laid down the law as to what snacks will be made available to the 100 members of the Senate.

 

Several unreliable and anonymous sources indicated that The Great Leader has instructed his lead criminal defense attorney Sen. Mitch “Moscow Mitch” to issue the following rules for the upcoming impeachment trial.

  • No popcorn for any Republican who votes to allow for witness testimony and/or the production of any documents
  • Vodka Martinis made with Rare Donald Trump Vodka for all Republicans who cast a vote in favor of The Great Leader
  • Keystone Light beer for Republicans who vote on any matter with the Democrats
  • Water for Democrats drawn from the Kentucky side of the Ohio River
  • Hamburgers for Democrats made by K2D Foods that was recalled over E. coli contamination concerns
  • Wagyu Kobe Steak for Trump supporting Republicans from Nobu restaurant in Dallas at $144 per serving
  • Lap dances for Republicans performed by Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal and Ivanka Trump
  • Lap dances for Democrats performed by Rosie O’Donnell, Lily Tomlin and Sandra Bernhard
  • GOP Senators restroom monitor will be Charlize Theron
  • Democrat Senators restroom monitor will be former Sen. Larry Craig

It was further indicated that the lap dances provided to Democratic Senators would be televised on the Fox News Comedy Network with Sean Hannity and Rush “The Doper” Limbaugh acting as cohosts.

 

Music for the impeachment proceedings will be provided by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, Kanye West and Gene Simmons of KISS.

 

For additional post-election articles re: The Don visit the articles below

  1. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 3 thru 75 Dawg Opinions
  2. Trump’s victims of Draining the Swamp: Art. 76 thru 86 Dawg Opinions
  3. Trump Filling the Swamp: Art. 87 thru 92 Dawg Opinions
  4. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 93 thru 99
  5. Trump miscellaneous opinion articles: Art. 323 thru 338 Dawg Opinions 
  6. Dawg Laments: Art. 1 thru 61
  7. Ass-Kisser Awards = 7
  8. Bigot/Racist Awards = 16
  9. Bullshit Awards = 72
  10. Chicken Little Awards = 3
  11. Dumbo Awards = 5
  12. Humanitarian Award = 11
  13. IHOP (Flip-Flop) Awards = 3
  14. Liar Awards = 120
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  16. Misc. Awards = 62
  17. Misogynist Awards = 3
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  19. Narcissist Awards = 31
  20. Screwball Awards = 12
  21. Rodney Dangerfield Comic Awards = 49