2015 “Humanitarian” Award Winner U.S. Rep. Steve King (IA)

Stevie has repeatedly spewed forth a variety of crap in a never ending attempt to establish his Humanitarian credentials. Stevie has been especially charitable when it comes to undocumented Latinos and securing the boarder when he humanely stated:

“For every one who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there who weigh 130 pounds—and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

As you can imagine, the competition amongst the candidate in this category was very keen to say the least. The deserving and highly competitive runner-ups are as follows:

• Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas
• Rev. Jim Bakker of PTL fame
• Jeb Bush: presidential aspirant
• U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas
• Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle

We offer our sincerest condolences to the aforementioned group of losers; however, I’m sure most if not all of them will be in the running for this esteemed award in 2016. Here’s wishing y’all better luck next year!

It should be noted that in addition to being an award winning “Humanitarian, Stevie is also a highly accomplished Lunatic and Standup Comedian. In fact, his intolerable conduct has led to him receiving nineteen (19) Awards in various categories.

Congrats Stevie; keep up the good work! You should be proud to be the 2015 “Humanitarian” Award winner. We’re sure that you’ll be in the running for the 2016 Award. Good luck, Stevie!