Gov. Mark Sanford - Tale of the Hot Tamale & the Unfaithful Jalapeno

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (yet another in a long line of Jimmy Swaggart Hypocrites and Wannabees) finally admits to having an extra-marital affair with some hot-tamale from Argentina (Is there another kind?).

As expected, Governor Sanford, in keeping with the mantra of other "family values, born-again Christian" politicians, openly wept (aka, Swaggart-ism) before the media when admitting to cheating on his wife. If I was Rev. Jimmy Swaggart I'd sue Mark and those of his ilk for patent/copyright infringement. After all, nobody, and I mean nobody amongst professed theologians and/or righteous family-values public officials who have been caught with their pants down so to speak, have ever risen to the level of Swaggart's acting ability in feigning contrition for cheating on their wives.

I would readily admit that if every public official were made to resign his/her office because of an extra-marital affair, we'd likely be witness to a 60-70% vacancy rate. Clearly, cheating on one's spouse is, to put it kindly, is an Olympian sport amongst our overworked, underpaid and underappreciated public servants.

What is extremely galling is the hyperbolic-linquistics' that Governor Sanford and his brethren engage in while viciously attacking the same conduct when engaged in by left-wing, commie-pinko, America/God hating  Democrats like President Bill Clinton. It would appear that well-respected Republican family-value practitioners like Sanford, Louisiana Senator David Vitter (How much for that doggie in the window?), Idaho Senator Larry Craig (favorite melody being "The Hokie-Pokie" - put your left foot in, put you left foot out) and/or Nevada Senator John Ensign that, screwing around on your wife is not only acceptable, but is expected of those aspiring to higher office (Sanford and Ensign previously had their sights on the White House).

To be excrutiatingly fair to Governor Sanford, it's not really his fault that he was screwing around on his wife. After all, if one is possessed with extraordinary sexual prowess, then isn't such a person morally and ethically required to spread it around? In truth, wasn't Mark really sacrificing his Jalapeno by providing it to his Argentinean Hot Tamale? Furthermore, an unreliable source indicated that Mark's copy of the Ten Commandments, and especially the 10th Commandment, specifically stated: "Thou shall not covet they neighbors wife unless she's a "Certified Hot Tamale."  Clearly, this exception for born-again Christians gives The Gov. a pass on his alleged infidelity.

Now, lets take a moment and compare Mark's sacrifice in spreading the wealth so to speak in reluctantly offering his sexual prowess  to others as a "family values guru" against the conduct of left-wing wooses who are clearly deficient in this arena. The following is but an example of left-wing losers who have utterly failed to establish sufficient bona fides that would allow them to provide first class sexual favors to those in need. Barack Obama – one marriage to Michelle for 17-years

• Barack Obama – one marriage to Michelle for 17 years
• Jimmy Carter – married to Rosalyn since 1946
• Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi – married to Paul since 1962
• Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid – married to Landra since 1960

How can you really trust someone like those mentioned above to be in charge of the country's affairs, when none of them possess the sexual attributes necessary to engage in successful extra-marital (aka, the intercourse between family values and religiosity) affairs? Its pretty clear to me that Obama, et al. cannot be trusted to mange the affairs of this great country! We need someone who is well-traveled and experienced in screwing around on his or her spouse, right